Translator: 🍓SassyStrawberry | http://www.sassystrawberry.com
Project: Phoenix Totem (凤凰图腾） | Author: Huaishang (淮上) | Rating: Mature
Trigger Warnings: Non-con, rape, underage, grooming, age gap, abuse of authority, problematic gong, harem politics, depression, suicide, murder, death.
Tags: Abusive obsessive love, Imperial Court and aristocracy, Strong x Strong characters, Jianghu grievances
Please do not re-upload this translation elsewhere, and do not trade/distribute EPUBs.
You can support the author on JJWXC here, note that there are many locked chapters. There’s also an AD that just started here
Chapter 6 What joy is there in living
FOR THE BEST READING EXPERIENCE, WE RECOMMEND READING THE CHAPTERS IN THE ORIGINAL FORMAT INSTEAD OF THE WORDPRESS READER.
Early the next morning, Zhang-shi brought a herd of boy servants and went to the side courtyard where Mingde lived, and had a boy servant rap loudly on the door, and loudly yell out,:” Ge-er [1] hasn’t gotten up yet? The sun is already high in the sky! Who is as fortunate as Ge–er, living each day so idly and able to eat food without having to work for it?”
Zhang-shi was dressed in a squirrel fur short jacket and stood by the side,” Knock louder. Have someone invite the Laoye over, let him see the good son that he has birthed.”
The boy servants upon hearing this, pounded on the door even more loudly, until there was a creaking sound that came from the inside. Mingde with a black robe draped over him, walked out of the room expressionlessly,:” Taitai, Hello?”
Zhang-shi looked him up and down consideringly, upon seeing that his expression was poorer than usual. Normally he would wear a faintly mocking expression, but today he actually seemed to be impatient with her, the legal wife – the most senior taitai. In addition to this, his complexion was pale and there lingered a faint odour about him. Sniffing at it more carefully, it actually somewhat resembled the fishy smell of blood.
Zhang-shi circled around him, and curled her lip disdainfully,” Take a look at this da-shaoye！ It is already bright out, and he still hides inside to sleep grandly! You snuck out to fool around last night, didn’t you? Look at you!”
She jabbed a red-painted fingernail at Mingde’s body. The disgust that flashed across Mingde’s face was as clear as day, and he avoided it by moving to the side. Zhang-shi felt that this damaged her self-esteem, hence she hurried forward to pull at him, saying:” What is this? Where’s that strong smell of blood coming from – you went out to murder and pillage!”
Unexpectedly, upon touching his chest, she found it smooth and strangely moist, and when she looked at her hand, it was covered in blood. Since when would Zhang-shi have ever encountered such a situation? She started screaming shrilly upon seeing it,” Ah! – You are seeking death [2]!”
The servants rushed forward, calling Taitai and hurriedly supporting her closely. Zhang-shi shuddered, then pointed at Mingde, stuttering as she said,” You…you…you! You look at me in this manner! What kind of look is that! Do you dare eat me up? You defiant and rebellious trouble-making bastard! Attendants, call Laoye! Call Laoye!”
Shanguan-shilang clambered up from his concubine’s side, already filled with rage. The boy servant upon seeing this, was extremely frightened, his voice shaking as he said,:” Mingde Ge-er…… Ge-er, he…… he……”
Shangguan-shilang kicked at him,” He, he, he… he what? Useless despicable seed!”
The boy servant rolled to the ground, clambering up again in a hurry,” Ge-er, he… he beat and killed someone! Blood！ Blood everywhere!”
Shangguan-shilang’s old face turned pale with fear at this and ran into the ancestral hall in a flustered manner. Upon seeing Mingde’s appearance, he became so frightened that he was bewildered and at a loss for what to do. He only knew to scold loudly,” You death-seeking seed! You actually learned how to get into fights and cause trouble! Men? Bring the Family Law [3]! Today I will teach this unfilial son a good lesson!”
The servants under Zhang-shi’s instructions had already brought the wooden rod over. Shangguan-shilang grabbed it in one hand and was about to exert strength and struck at Mingde’s body. Unexpectedly, Shangguan Mingde who would usually keep his silence, at this time instead raised his hand to grab at the rod.
Shangguan-shilang made a desperate effort to grab it from him. Mingde’s grip was like iron, and couldn’t be moved at all. Shangguan-shilang’s eyes puffed up and his complexion went purple with rage,” Rebellious thing! Watch me beat you!” After which he lifted the rod and wanted to hit him again.
Mingde’s expression seemed to have iced over, he only raised his hand, then seized the rod over with a crash before fiercely flinging it a great distance away, where it smashed upon the ground. Shangguan-shilang had almost tumbled to the ground at this move. When he finally reacted, he sprang up and patted at his thigh saying,” Scoundrel! Scoundrel! It’s rebellion! Lawless! Attendants, drag this unfilial son over to the confinement chamber and lock him up! Do not give him any food!”
The confinement chamber was actually next to the firewood storage room. On the outside of it, was a large lock. It was a bare and bleak stone chamber, and the weather in September was sufficient to cause one to shiver with cold. Mingde quietly snuggled up to the corner, and by his hands were some books that had been tossed inside, it was said that Shangguan-shilang had told him to study in preparation for the Spring Imperial Examinations.
The Spring Imperial Examinations…… Huh. Mingde shut his eyes in exhaustion, within his heart he laughed grimly. If he succeeded in the examinations and managed to obtain an official posting outside of the capital, he would finally be able to leave this place.
There was a sudden pain between his eyebrows, the torment from the wounds on his body became more and more unbearable. No medicine, no food, no water. At that moment, he even doubted whether he would be able to survive until the first day of the Spring Imperial Examinations.
What joy is there in living, what is there to fear about death [4]?
This was a sentence from a book that he had studied when he was very young. What can be considered to be happy about being alive? What is there worth fearing about death? Nothing in this world will remain eternal, it is merely a matter of time.
He had once asked the Empress,” Since my life is so painful, why can’t I die?”
The Empress momentarily stared at him blankly, and suddenly knelt down and hugged him. She spasmodically sobbed while scolding him,” Good-for-nothing unfilial son! Empress Mingrui spent so much effort in order to be able to leave you behind, yet you trample on and waste the life that she has given you! If you dare speak like this again, beware that I’ll beat you to death!”
Although she spoke such words, she instead hugged the young Shangguan Mingde in her bosom and hugged him very very tightly.
Her embrace was very warm, but she was after all a woman. A woman’s arms are still frail regardless. Mingde could only silently let her hug as she pleased and stared at the Empress’ bright yellow nine-phoenix patterned dress, his face expressionless.
…… In truth, it was just another type of torture. There was no difference in living or dying, there is neither joy nor fear.
Mingde wrapped his single robe about him tightly. The wall was bone-chillingly cold. Although his body of flesh was already exhausted to the extreme, he couldn’t sleep at all. Actually, this stone chamber wouldn’t be able to imprison him, as long as he wanted to, he could leave anytime, but he felt extremely sluggish as if the inside of his bones had already rusted away. Even his slightest movement was so choppy and stiff.
Not knowing how long a time had passed, Mingde was about to blearily fall asleep in a daze. Suddenly he heard the window move slightly, and then Rong Shiba’s voice rang out,” ……slept already? Do you want to eat something?”
Mingde opened his eyes, and raised his hand to catch the steamed bun that had been flung towards him: “Rong-daren?”
Rong Shiba said,” Hurry and eat. After you’ve eaten, leave with me.”
Mingde thought in his heart, I knew that this steamed bun wasn’t free. Whilst thinking this, he didn’t stand on courtesy and took a bite, then asked,” The one above has again issued an order?”
Rong Shiba’s expression at that instant was extremely weird, after a moment he muttered and mumbled a response,:” It’s not the one above. It’s the Emperor who’s calling you……”
Mingde let out an ‘Oh’ in response, then finished the steamed bun in a few bites. He stretched his hand out, and asked,” Are there any more? I want more.”
Rong Shiba tossed over all the steamed buns that he had, then brought Mingde to leap out of the Shangguan residence’s main gate, but they didn’t head in the direction of the Imperial Palace, instead, they left towards the outer walls.
Mingde didn’t make a sound as they exited the Imperial Residence, then he asked quietly,” Rong-daren, where are we going?”
Rong Shiba was a little embarrassed, he said：” You’ll know when we get there.”
They exited the Imperial Residence, and outside of it was the downtown Langfang. There were fireworks restaurants [5] everywhere, the bustling crowds coming and going. Mingde followed behind Rong Shiba, moving as timidly as a youth who had been brought out to play by his elder brother. He was very good-looking, and his appearance was noble and spirited. The bolder young girls in their embroidery buildings [6] would point and titter at him, covering their mouths while smiling.
Mingde acted as if he didn’t see them. In truth, his injuries hurt a lot, having walked such a long distance, it was almost too much to bear. He felt that his blood and qi were obstructed; luckily they soon arrived at their destination. Rong Shiba stopped at a carriage in front of a restaurant, and bowed formally to the car, whispering,” Ye [7], this subject Rong Shiba is present.”
Mingde saw the carriage curtains lift, and the Qianwan Emperor’s face was revealed. His face was indifferent and inexpressive, he said to Mingde,” Come up then.”
Mingde retreated by half a step, and directly turned and wanted to leave with a flick of his sleeves. But as soon as he had turned around, he heard the Qianwan Emperor say,” Do you intend to defy the imperial decree [8]?”
Mingde again turned back, and gave a mocking small smile,” This subject would not dare.”
He then strode forward, reached out his hand to hold the curtains aside, and bent himself to step into the carriage. That movement was originally very gracefully and decisively executed, but mid-way the Qianwan Emperor reached out to hug him, then directly carried him up and threw him inside – tossing him onto a golden embroidered squirrel cushion.
“……Wu!”
Mingde had just gotten up and bumped head-on into the Qianwan Emperor’s embrace. That man was much stronger than him, with only one hand he could grab hold of the youth’s still frail and thin shoulder, pulling him into his embrace, and asked softly,” What is it, did the fall hurt? It can’t be, I deliberately chose such a thick soft cushion for you.”
Mingde was compelled to lie within his embrace, and replied dully,” This subject is afraid [9].”
The Qianwan Emperor was already used to receiving this sort of expression from him, so he merely restrained him with one hand. With his other hand, he stripped off his clothes. Mingde struggled violently twice, his expression was faintly panicked. Seeing him like this, the Qianwan Emperor deliberately suppressed a rush of fiery anger, and with forced tolerance, he pacified him,” It’s alright. I’m just going to have a look at your injuries.”
How could Mingde be in the right frame of mind to hear this clearly, unexpectedly, he waved a hand and slapped the Qianwan Emperor in the face with a crisp ‘pa’ sound.
The Qianwan Emperor was stunned by this, that slap wasn’t a light tap. A burning pain slowly spread across his face to behind his ears. The Qianwan Emperor was not only an Emperor in his prime, but he had also fought from horseback and waged wars. He was also an extremely powerful and ruthless Emperor who came out victorious in palace intrigues. When would anyone have dared to box his ears? How would there be anyone who dare to slap him in the face?
The Qianwan Emperor’s first impulse was to hit back. But when his hand was raised in mid-action, he forcibly stopped himself.
If this slap landed, it would not just be a slap on the face, but there was the very real possibility that it would knock the child in his embrace unconscious.
That instant when the Qianwan Emperor saw Mingde cower away, he slowly put down his hand. He did his best to make his speech gentle and mild,” ……it’s alright. I’m just going to have a look……does it hurt? Does it hurt here?”
Mingde huddled up slightly and turned his face away. The Qianwan Emperor became anxious and wished that he could straighten his head to look at him. But, after all, they’d interacted with one another for two years now, and his understanding of this child had deepened. This little fellow couldn’t be intimidated. Others may be frightened into behaving, but this one’s fur puffs up angrily [10] when he’s startled, and once he’s puffed up in anger, he’s like a cornered animal [11] who might do anything in desperation.
The Qianwan Emperor tried to coax him,” Be good, it’s alright…… if you don’t want me to look then I won’t…… Do you want to apply some medicine? Should I apply it for you, or do you want to do it yourself?”
Perhaps as a result of his attempts at pacifying him, Mingde carefully glanced at him, then said,”…… I’ll do it myself.”
He took the white jade bottle of salve from the Qianwan Emperor’s palm, and he sat in the furthermost corner of the carriage, his back towards the Emperor. He slowly removed his robe, exposing his shoulder to his gaunt but exquisite back. Although an obliquely slanted knife wound cut across his chest, it did not in the least detract from this youth’s fresh and pure beauty. The stark dark red of the flesh wound set off against his jade-like skin. The very image of being slightly timid yet trying to be brave, perhaps no normal man would be able to resist it.
Mingde was extremely flustered and frightened by that look of wholly undisguised desire aimed at his back. He hastily used the salve and treated himself by spreading a layer over it, then quickly draped his clothes back on. Whilst he was putting the clothes back on, his hand was caught by someone. He only had the time to let out a dull groan, before being pulled back into the Emperor’s embrace. A hand grabbed the back of his head as he was kissed.
Their breaths were entangled, predatory, and tyrannical, yet meticulous. Not a single fat and delicious part of the prey was spared. Mingde opened his eyes wide, with a hand pressed against the Qianwan Emperor’s chest, he had exerted strength several times but it had been pushed back down. The knife wounds on his body split open again, and he was dizzy with pain. In his heart, he only had one thought: This time, it’s not going to be so easy to endure it.
After this kiss, the Qianwan Emperor stared at him for a long while, his eyes filled with little threads of blood, he looked rather frightening. After watching him for some time, he instead hugged Mingde’s body, tugging it into his embrace, and didn’t make any further actions.
Mingde only felt that his fingers were trembling faintly, but his entire body was rigid and immobile. The carriage jolted around, and he could clearly feel the Qianwan Emperor’s scalding hot organ raise itself abruptly. This posture was way too dangerous, he couldn’t help feeling extremely apprehensive and nervous.
