Translator: 🍓SassyStrawberry | http://www.sassystrawberry.com
Project: Phoenix Totem (凤凰图腾） | Author: Huaishang (淮上) | Rating: Mature
Trigger Warnings: Non-con, rape, underage, grooming, age gap, abuse of authority, problematic gong, harem politics, depression, suicide, murder, death.
Tags: Abusive obsessive love, Imperial Court and aristocracy, Strong x Strong characters, Jianghu grievances
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Chapter 9 To live, to die (NSFW)
FOR THE BEST READING EXPERIENCE, WE RECOMMEND READING THE CHAPTERS IN THE ORIGINAL FORMAT INSTEAD OF THE WORDPRESS READER.
–When I strangled her to death it is true that I did not show her any mercy, but didn’t I treat you with compassion by leaving you alive?
In that instant, many thoughts flashed through the Qianwan Emperor’s heart, drifting profusely and chaotically across one’s line of sight, obscuring his original appearance.
That night of complete darkness, that woman who had begged piteously to his young self to let off the newly born, innocent baby. What had he been thinking then?
His consciousness had been inflamed and bewitched by the fury of being betrayed. He had been young and vigorous, with an irascible and explosive temper. The son of heaven who had waged war on horseback to carve out his empire, would definitely not exhibit a woman’s soft and kind nature, in the face of fresh blood and miserable screaming.
The dull thuds of the flogging in the courtyard gradually faded away. Finally, the last ray of sunset disappeared from the edge of the finely carved lattice of the palace windows. The long-stemmed orchids drooped downwards, their posture akin to a dying butterfly.
Within the icy palace chamber burned the phoenix marrow incense, its restrained and fine aroma is delicate, noble and finicky, cold, and aloof. Its swift fierceness and sharpness are similar to this youth with his lushly beautiful eyes and brows. As if an overly heavy hand laid upon it would injure it. And once broken, it could never be repaired.
The Qianwan Emperor, Li Ji, had never been one to be stupefied. The sharp pain stabbing at his wrist made him regain his wits. Mingde’s slender fingers were tightly pinching into his skin with great force, the tips of his fingers were already bloodied.
“I should not have been soft-hearted towards you then……” The Qianwan Emperor’s hands trembled slightly, the rough calluses on his palm from the long years of his military career rubbed against the smooth and glossy skin of the boy’s face, saying,”……They all said that you were an auspicious sign, but I think you’re practically an evil omen.”
“It was you who had personally summoned this evil omen into the palace!”
“You speak truly,” The Qianwan Emperor’s was unusually low, akin to the hazy sky that precedes the storm winds and rain upon the ocean’s surface,:”– had I let you leave together with your mother at the time, I could have avoided today’s……”
My today’s what? Remorse? Finding it troublesome? Inconvenience?…… Or perhaps…suffering?
Mingde violently tore his hand away, struggling desperately like a little creature that had fallen into a trap, his face filled with icy tear tracks,” – Li Ji! If you have the guts, then kill me! If you have the guts then you can also bestow upon me the three-foot length of white silk, if you have the guts then bury me in Empress Mingrui’s tomb, into that prince’s coffin where the cat bones lie! If you dare not, then I will look down on you all my life! You coward who dares to do things dares not own up to them! You bastard [1]! Craven weakling!”
The youth’s shrill and hoarse voice in the large and empty palace chamber echoed as if returning to that blood-stained night ten-odd years ago. The midwife had cried out shrilly, the Empress had screamed miserably, and the newborn baby had wailed with all its strength. The fresh blood had poured down, flowing across the dusty floor, like a raging fire that consumed the sky.
The Qianwan emperor’s hand slipped down from Mingde’s face, bit by bit. As if it carried with it an inexhaustible sentiment and fondness, slowly sliding to his neck. Then he squeezed the youth’s slender and lovely neck, slowly tightening his grip.
“Why would I strangle you with the three-foot length of white silk……” The Qianwan Emperor smiled as he spoke quietly,:” You should die at my hands, directly die at my hands, with nothing acting as a barrier between us……”
In the darkness, only an indistinct outline of his angular features could be seen. Mingde gradually found his vision blurring. He struggled desperately, but even when he had exhausted all his strength, he could only use his icy gold fingers to grab at the Qianwan Emperor’s arm, his grip loosening bit by bit.
One shichen [2] ago, in that Cold Palace with its floating dust motes and smell of mildew, did the Guifei…… also die in such a torturous manner?
Even longer ago, when Empress Mingrui had collapsed on the blood-covered floor in the birthing chamber, had she also died in this manner?
Mingde’s consciousness gradually dimmed. He dejectedly collapsed on the icy cold, perfumed mandarin ducks embroidered brocade pillow, and his hand slowly fell downwards.
How nice. That woman whom he had never met, but allegedly died on his behalf, dressed in the splendidly luxurious robes of an Empress, stood on the distant shore. She held out a hand to him, like……like how Zhang-shi did towards her children.
The Qianwan Emperor, Li Ji gazed at him and suddenly released the grip on his throat. He grabbed the back of his head, then dragged him up. Mingde was already mostly unaware by then. The Qianwan Emperor kissed him like a □□, biting at him until there were traces of blood in their mouths. Then he violently tore away at his thin robe, whilst continuously kneading that thin body that had not yet achieved its full growth.
He suddenly recalled that two years ago when he had first met Shangguan Mingde, he had resisted him violently to no avail. Whether it was in terms of physical strength, or in sheer power, he could not compare up to a vigorous and strong adult male. In Li Ji’s hands, it seems other than tossing and turning and enduring, there wasn’t anything else he could do.
If he told him to live, he would have no choice but to live; if he ordered him to die, there would be no recourse except to die.
But death was such a simple matter. If he lost the Guifei, then he’d confer another. Losing the infant, another could be conceived. It was merely one less competitor in the struggle for the throne. It was just that if Mingde died,….. Then in the future, there would not be a second Shangguan Mingde.
One look at her will cause the downfall of a city, another glance will result in the ruin of the empire; care not whether cities fall or empires collapse, such beauty never comes around twice [3]!……
During his invasion, Li Ji heard the suppressed sounds of □□ from Shangguan Mingde below him. He also felt that his lower body seemed to have some ** wetness slowly flowing out. It was blood, and while it was built upon Mingde’s suffering, it instead brought him an even more berserk sense of pleasure.
Li Ji stretched out his arms and tightly embraced Mingde’s thin body. That feeling of pleasure was so intense that his brain had blanked out anything other than the idea of invading the youth. It was like the first time that he had taken Mingde, with a thin gold chain imprisoning him to the bed. He had been chained there for three days and wasn’t allowed to get off. His life had been sustained with thousand-year-old ginseng, no matter how much suffering he endured, he wouldn’t be able to die.
The night wind had already started up. The icy moonlight passing through the window lattice slowly disappeared into the pitch-black interior of the room. The entanglement of bodies, □□、□□, and the negligible resistance had already been hidden within the deep colours of the night. Li Ji’s desires were so urgent and pressing that he found it difficult to give vent to them. However, Mingde had long lost the strength to resist.
At this time, no matter how powerful he is, and how dominant, he is merely a normal man. He will never…ever be able to again regain his lofty and superior position as the Supreme Imperial ruler before Shangguan Mingde.
It was already early in the morning before the Qianwan Emperor strode out of the room of the bed-chamber. The Emperor’s complexion was so gloomy and overcast that servants hurriedly fell to their knees and trembled with fear at the right.
The palms of Zhang Kuo’s hands were clammy with sweat. He hurriedly followed the Qianwan Emperor, but after having only taken two steps, the Qianwan Emperor suddenly questioned him, all the while not even turning his head,” What are you doing here ?”
Zhang Kuo was stunned by this, and quickly bent over and said, This slave knows his mistakes.” After which he instead instructed others,:” Hurry and summon the Imperial Physician.”
Zhang Kuo had jogged all the way into the bed-chamber, then burst into the inner room and quickly lit the lamps. Upon looking at the couch, he inhaled sharply. Mingde was covered by the blanket up to his chest, exposing the green and red marks scattered across his body, with hardly any unmarked skin; one hand hung weakly on the ground, and it was unknown whether he was still breathing.
Zhang Kuo’s voice shook as he asked the Palace maids,” Quick……quickly send a request to Lao Junmei! Hurry! Hurry!”
The palace maid had just run two steps before tripping, and then hurriedly half-crawled at full speed out of the bed-chamber. Lao Junmei was also greatly surprised by this, he grabbed his medical box in a fluster, and even put on one of his shoes wrong.
Zhang Kuo examined the air under Mingde’s nose, and upon discovering that he still breathed, only then did his worry dissipate somewhat; when he checked again, he realized that the inhalations were much weaker than his exhalations, and he was again sick with worry. Lao Junmei ordered the servants to light the lamps and bring them forward for him to have a look. Mingde’s eyes were shut tightly, and on his neck were the blue-black bruise marks of strangulation. What was even more tragic was that his shoulder bore marks of teeth, he had been bitten to the point of nearly having a chunk of flesh ripped out.
Lao Junmei whispered about the sin of it. The Qianwan Emperor may be a ruthless person, but there had never been any record of him behaving in such a preposterous and absurd manner toward the Imperial harem; He had already experienced three different reigns. Although he had also rescued people after the Emperor’s **, he had never seen something this cruel, as if the Emperor had actually wanted to take Mingde’s little life.
Zhang Kuo spoke quietly,” Imperial Physician-Daren, in accordance with reason, the Emperor’s thoughts, are not something that we as servants can speak of; but if this little noble sir has anything happen to him, yours and my families will……”
Lao Junmei hurriedly replied,” This old subject understands.”
Mingde’s life was finally still saved.
Lao Junmei used extremely strong medicine, such that Mingde burned with fever and fell into a lethargic sleep for three days. When he woke he had lost a lot of weight, but at least his life had been preserved.
That day when Lao Junmei went to examine him, Mingde had just taken his bath. He wrapped his body in an extremely large gold-woven soft towel, □□ put both his feet on the carpet, and slowly walked towards the bed. Lao Junmei asked for forgiveness, then hurriedly lowered his head without looking. It was only a hurried glance, but he seemed to have seen something like a tattoo that covered Mingde’s entire back, from his shoulder to the back of his waist. In that moment of distraction, he hadn’t seen it clearly, but it seemed to be the figure of a……phoenix.
Lao Junmei suddenly recalled the newborn that he had helped deliver eighteen years ago, and suddenly his expression changed. At this time, he heard Mingde’s indifferent voice,:” Imperial Physician-daren, did you [4] see something?”
Lao Junmei abruptly lifted his gaze to look at the other’s eyes and brows, and examined him closely, confirming his suspicions. He was horrified,” Em……Empress Mingrui!”
He had already experienced three different reigns. The Imperial harem was full of beautiful women, but not one could surpass Empress Mingrui. The impression was so deeply engraved within his mind, that although that year he had only met her briefly when he had delivered her child, he had been unable to forget her.
Mingde’s voice gentled, and he spoke slowly and unhurriedly,” For the Imperial Physician-daren to still remember my mother, it is truly touching.”
Lao Junmei only felt his sight blur, and when he looked again he saw Mingde who had approached undetected, one hand raised in mid-air. The veins on the back of his hands popped up, and his slender and elegant fingers curved in a wickedly sharp hook, approaching his eyes.
Lao Junmei’s hands went slack, the medicine box slamming loudly to the ground. He shut his eyes tightly, and in his heart, he bemoaned: It’s over, it’s over. Unexpectedly, the sound of the wind stopped violently, and there was no other action or sound. Lao Junmei was extremely nervous and afraid as he opened his eyes, only to see Mingde smile and say,” ……Imperial Physician-daren worries too much.”
There was a blue vein on his temple that twitched violently, Lao Junmei knew that was a sign of him curbing his killing intent. Mingde inhaled deeply, and retreated back to the side of the bed, speaking softly,” Imperial Physician-daren, start the treatment.”
He was extremely frail and required acupuncture and medicine in order to recuperate. Lao Junmei took out the long needles, but his hands still trembled slightly. Whilst he hesitated, he heard Mingde ask dully,:” Whatever are you [4], this grand elder thinking about?”
Lao Junmei’s hand shook at this, Mingde didn’t open his eyes, and said,:”– I’m not the Emperor’s offspring, you[4] this grand elder can rest assured.”
His words were spoken so clearly and plainly. Lao Junmei instead felt even more terrified and jumpy. It was best to know as little about the matters of the Imperial family as possible. In those days, the case of Empress Mingrui had involved so many people, it had not been easy to extricate himself; unexpectedly eighteen years later, he had actually met the infant that he had delivered personally!
Lao Junmei knew that to make a sound at this time would only result in his death, hence he suppressed his fear and surprise, slowly carrying out the acupuncture treatment for Mingde. Mingde leaned against the couch, the marks and scars on his body hadn’t yet faded. His not-very-long hair was scattered across his shoulders, the black stark against the white. His skin was clear and translucent, his bearing inexpressibly bewitching. It unexpectedly brought to Lao Junmei’s mind an illusion of the past when he had treated Empress Mingrui.
Mingde spoke impassively,” You don’t need to be afraid. You just behave as if you don’t know anything. Otherwise, the one who will kill you isn’t me, but the Emperor.”
Lao Junmei bowed in a flustered manner,:” Many…many thanks to Gongzi for his advice.”
It was at this time when the door was rapped lightly twice, and Zhang Kuo spoke quietly from the outside,” Mingde-gongzi is feeling better? The Emperor instructed this one to bring some items over.”
He entered the room in a grovelling and subservient manner and waved his hands to gesture at the group of palace staff behind him. Each of them held a small platter that was inlaid with gold and trimmed in black silver. Zhang Kuo himself carried a horsetail whisk, pointing out each and every item,” These are the gifts bestowed by the Emperor, this is the Snow Lotus regenerating cream, this is the Pear Blossom dew, this is the cream of Roses, this is the Poria mushroom drink. I fear that Gongzi drinking the sour plum soup is too introverted, drinking too much of it is not good for the body as it may trigger an illness. This will be much better…… This is the mother and son pearl set that was part of the tribute sent by the Southern Yue country a few days ago. This is a gold and jade treasure lotus painting for entertainment…… Also, the Emperor has also said that this place is too dark, and has ordered that the candles be switched out for night luminous pearls. Gongzi, look at this and see if it suits your tastes?”
Zhang Kuo gave the palace staff a meaningful look, and he hung his head downwards and presented a pearl. This night luminous pearl was as large as a dragon’s eye, sparkling and translucent, with a glistening luminosity. A pair of these was already extremely rare, let alone the Qianwan Emperor having the entire bed-chambers lights changed to this type of lighting?
Zhang Kuo glanced at Mingde’s expression while he was crouching down. He only felt that this little noble sir lacked even the slightest joy or anger, he was so indifferent that it was impossible to ascertain his mood. After a while, Mingde jerked his chin towards the palace staff, and said,:” Bring it to me.”
Zhang Kuo at this time released the breath he had been holding.
Ultimately, he was still a child. At such an age, how would there be any deep-seated hatred or bitter grudges? Stroking his fur and coaxing him would be the end of the matter, there was nothing that couldn’t be overcome.
The palace staff hurriedly brought forward a platter with both hands. Mingde picked up that Night Luminous pearl, and quietly looked at it between his fingertips for a while. Then he exerted strength and crushed that pearl into powder.
The palace staff’s legs went soft in fear, and knelt on the ground,”……Gongzi please spare our lives!”
Mingde violently overturned the small serving platter,” All of you get lost!”
Zhang Kuo prostrated himself on the ground,” Gongzi, please spare the miserable lives of these slaves!”
Mingde rapidly rose to his feet. Zhang Kuo walked forward on his knees to block him, his voice hoarse as he said,” His Majesty has decreed! If Mingde-gongzi is dissatisfied with these things, then those palace staff who have brought forth the items will be executed! The slaves’ lives may be cheap, but we plead with Gongzi to take pity upon us!”
The palace staff behind him all knelt in a row, kowtowing desperately,” Gongzi, please spare our lives! Begging Gongzi to spare our lives! Begging Gongzi to have pity!……”
Mingde was so furious that he shook with it, unable to voice the words that he wanted to say. He stood in a trance for a moment, his body crumpling downwards. Zhang Kuo and Lao Junmei stepped forward to support him, and half-dragged and half-supported him back to the bed in the room, hurriedly placing him in it.
Mingde gasped for breath for a while, then slowly panted. He sneered while staring at Zhang Kuo, saying,” Good……good!”
Zhang Kuo hung his head while he waited upon him, then gave the others a look to order them all to leave, he then said,:” Gongzi, what kind of words are those.”
He personally brewed a cup of Poria mushroom drink, using a tiny silver spoon to put a tiny bit into the warm water. It was exceptionally fragrant and sweet-smelling. He put it into the crystal cup and respectfully placed it onto the bedside small tea table, then asked quietly,:” Why must Gongzi stifle himself with anger at the Emperor? After all, he is the Emperor and has ten thousand ways to make you suffer a fate worse than death. Why must you seek trouble for yourself?”
Zhang Kuo’s face was covered in a smile, that smile may have been extremely respectful and submissive, but it made one extremely uncomfortable. Mingde stared at him silently for a while, then suddenly smiled faintly, and asked,” Zhang-gonggong.”
Zhang Kuo bowed and replied,” This slave is present.”
“How many years have you served by the Emperor’s side?”
“To reply to Gongzi’s question, thirty-five years.”
“The Emperor trusts you very much?”
Zhang Kuo made haste to kneel down,” The master’s thoughts are something this slave does not dare speak of.”
Mingde didn’t move, then watched him as he knelt. After kneeling only then did he smile and ask,” I’ve heard that the Emperor does not treat the people around him kindly, however, he has never punished you. Is this true?”
Zhang Kuo replied,” It is merely a sign of the Emperor’s solicitude and understanding.”
He raised his gaze, then saw Mingde smiling faintly while looking at him. That smile was unspeakably gorgeous and dazzling, and ruthless. But that little implied meaning was sufficient to cause one’s heart to shake violently as if shocked by thunder.
Mingde then asked, while smiling in this manner,” – Then, if the both of us were alone together, and something happened to me, what would the Emperor think of you then?”
Zhang Kuo was terrified, and at this time he saw Mingde’s body shake, and then a thin thread of blood slowly flowed from his lips!
Zhang Kuo hastily got up, dropping the horsetail whisk on the floor with a crash. He staggered out of the bed chambers, his voice so shrill that it had changed pitch,” – Attendants! Attendants! Summon…summon the Imperial Physician!”
