Twitter RSS
Close
thousand autumns

Thousand Autumns – Chinese New Year Extra 2022

sassystrawberrytranslates7 Comments

Translated by: SassyStrawberry
Edited by: happibess and yukirayu

☆ 天下第一（《千秋》小剧场）

梦溪石鸭  

On the 29th of the final month in the lunar calendar, send noodles, steamed buns, red dates, and add more sugar.
The new year is impending, I wish for everyone to be happy, to eat and drink merrily, to be healthy, to hop and skip about in a lively manner!
I’ve missed you all very much, and I didn’t forget about the Spring Festival small theatres continuation. There’s another one tomorrow.
Guess what tomorrow’s small theatre is going to be about?
The first to correctly guess which novel will receive a small red packet! [doge]

☆ World’s Number One（《Thousand Autumns》Little Theatre）

When Mount Xuandu celebrates the new year, they tend to follow some of the outside customs and traditions. For example, they would select a few dumplings and hide copper coins inside them— biting into a dumpling with a copper coin inside was considered to be a lucky omen.

However, ever since that one year when someone bit into a copper coin too aggressively and broke a tooth off, this little practice has been challenged. In any case, most of the people on Mount Xuandu are Taoists, and many of them felt that money and riches were merely material things [1] of little significance. As such, they began to secretly fill the dumplings with contraband – with nonsensical and random items.

Some people would place protective talismans, others would put tangyuan. There were even some who were so extravagant that they would hide little pieces of jade inside.

Hence, when everyone ate their dumplings, they did so with great caution. They would think twice before biting down – lest they exert too much force and accidentally chomp on something that was not meant to be eaten.

Shen-zhangjiao also didn’t want to have weird things end up in his mouth while eating dumplings, hence he instructed Shiwu to be particularly vigilant while everyone was wrapping the dumplings and to do his best to pick a few of the good ones and bring those over.

This year, several familiar faces from the Huanyue Sect, the Hehuan Sect, and Mount Qingcheng were also invited to Mount Xuandu to join in the excitement for a few days.

Shen Qiao, Yan Wushi, Bai Rong, Yi Bichen, Li Qingyu, Shiwu, Bian Yanmei, Yu Shengyan, Gu Hengbo, and Yuan Ying all sat at the same table.

Everyone appeared gravely dignified, the atmosphere at the table almost like the dark and oppressive aura that preceded a decisive battle. This was a stark contrast to the sounds of delighted laughter and cheerful voices that came from the outside.

“Si-shixiong, why don’t you go first?” Gu Hengbo said.

“Those who came from afar… afar are our guests. [2] It’s better if they…they go first.” Yuan Ying’s old habit of stuttering was hardly perceptible nowadays, and would only flare up whenever he gets nervous.

“As guests, we must act according to the host’s convenience. [3] It is better that you go first,” Li Qingyu said as he glanced at his Shizun.

What caused them to behave as if they were facing a great enemy, naturally wasn’t because the dumplings were poisoned. Rather, it was because there was said to be a copper coin hidden within the platter of dumplings. Whoever got the copper coin would have to go outside and leap like a frog [4] a hundred times.

They had to be joking. Everyone seated here was of some renown, grandmasters of their respective generations. To go outside and hop like a frog— what is this all about?

After some consideration, several pairs of eyes simultaneously fell on Shiwu.

Shiwu, “…”

Among all the people present, he ranked the lowest in terms of seniority. So other than him, who else would it be?

Shiwu braced himself to act in a thick-skinned manner. “These seniors and shixiong, it is not that I am unwilling to eat; but this platter really has too many dumplings. It’s impossible for me to take a bite out of all of them, right?”

Shen Qiao smiled at this and said, “It’s merely a bet made in jest. Whoever bites into it, can just consider it to be a bit of harmless fun. There’s no need to take it so seriously.”

After having said this, he then picked up the first dumpling.

Everyone stared at him, their gazes luminous and burning. But Shen Qiao got lucky.

Yi Bichen said, “Forget it. I submit to the will of heaven. [5] If I lose, I lose.”

He lifted his chopsticks.

Bai Rong’s clever and cunning gaze wandered about, and then she became the third one to eat a dumpling.

Soon after, everyone else followed suit and began eating as well.

The entire time, Shiwu felt as if he was treading on thin ice. Not only did he fear that it would be him who would end up with copper coin, but he also worried that even if it was someone else who ate the dumpling with the copper coin, they would still have him hop about like a frog.

This world should not have things like these copper coins! Shiwu bemoaned the unfairness of it all.

But even after he had eaten his fill and put down his chopsticks, he had not bitten into that copper coin.

The copper coin was ‘eaten’ by Li Qingyu.

He, however, behaved in an insouciant manner, as if nothing had happened. “It is not good to engage in vigorous exercises immediately after eating. I’ll hop later when they start setting off the fireworks.”

Shiwu blurted out, “Wouldn’t there be even more people at that time?”

Li Qingyu replied, “Whether it’s one more or two more people, they will all still be watching. So what if they all come over to observe?”

This display of resolute determination made Shiwu secretly feel ashamed of himself. He felt that it was his own level of self-cultivation that was still lacking.

However, it was Bai Rong whose expression turned strange at this time, as she spat out a piece of paper.

Upon unfolding this piece of paper, written inside was: “The world’s number one, with his peerless grace and elegance, [6] can only be Yan Wushi.”

Bai Rong almost threw up.

Shen Qiao, “…”

Everyone, “…”

Although Bai Rong was furious, she continued smiling. “Is it fun for Yan-zongzhu to play such childish tricks?”

Yan Wushi remained unfazed by this remark as he replied, “Does this venerable one look like someone who is bored enough that he would play such senseless tricks?” [7]

Bai Rong thought to herself, “Yes, you certainly do!”

Although she raged inwardly, her outward appearance remained as coquettish and charming as water. “Of course not.”

Bai Rong interrogated everyone about the note, but no one admitted to having written it.

In the end, this ultimately became one of Mount Xuandu’s ten greatest unsolved cases.

Original Post: (from Weibo)

7 thoughts on “Thousand Autumns – Chinese New Year Extra 2022”

  1. This is so much fun to read. I really laughed out loud. Many thanks for translating this gem in your wonderful style.

Comments are closed.

Do not copy.

error: Content is protected !!